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Senate elections are scheduled for 300/1122, and candidates have begun to file with the Regina Election Commission. Imagine the Tattler’s surprise upon viewing the candidate’s filings to find the name of Jason Roberts. Mr. Roberts is the rather colorful owner of the franchised brothels known as "JR’s Place". There are "JR’s Places" on the starports of Regina Up Port, Jenghe, Rhylanor Up and Down, and Shirene. It is a singularly successful and popular chain. When contacted regarding his candidacy, Mr. Roberts stated that he felt his past business experience and long time residency on Regina has given him the skills to succeed in office here on Regina. Certainly Mr. Roberts is "in touch" the common man, as well as his needs and desires. However, this reporter was troubled by the rumors about Mr. Roberts past life before he came to Regina: rumors that he was a criminal and a pirate. Mr. Roberts declined to discuss his past over the phone, but was courteous enough to invite the reporter to his business establishment for an "more personal conversation". Instead of the "personal attention" that I had anticipated, I was greeted by Mr. Roberts, who certainly looked more like a businessman, and a politician in his Brooks Brothers suit, than a pirate. Those women actually wanted to talk. That’s all they wanted to do. I couldn’t get them to stop talking. They talked about how nice it is to work in a safe place, and for Mr. Roberts. They said that he personally handles customers who rough up the staff. They talked about medical benefits, childcare, free board, paid vacations and owning stock in the company. I wondered if J.R’s Place needed a staff publicist. I left confused and a little frustrated. If you the reader have any questions about Robert’s qualifications, I suggest that you make a trip to J.R.’s Place yourself, for the conversation. Perhaps the best man for the Regina Senate, might be a pirate and a criminal, a con man and a pimp. Now if we can just find some honest whores to run for the rest of the seats.
Volume 1977 Issue Number 21
232-1122
A Parliament of Whores
Future Senator Roberts?
Politics on Regina has always been defined by polished, some might even say slick, politicians, and deals cut in cigar smoke filled rooms. Many say that the politicians themselves, as well at their votes were bought and sold. So who would be better suited to serve in the "new" Regina Senate than a pimp.
As I toured the well-oiled operation of J.R.’s Place I came to the conclusion that Roberts had abandoned piracy for a far more lucrative career, and a better view. Following the tour, we returned to Robert’s office, where he reached into his desk and handed me the piece of paper. Roberts said, "Yeah, I was a criminal. I did my time. I was also pardoned. Have you got a problem with that?" I noticed that Roberts has one eye that is brown and one that is violet. Perhaps all pirates do. Then Roberts asked me if I would be willing to talk to some of his employees, any of them, about his candidacy and qualifications. Here’s the come on I thought, so I said yes.